i've got an old friend from way back-- haven't been in touch much the last 25 years, but have been much more so during the last two months-- who won't put down the bottle and is driving everybody who's still in touch to distraction.
the reality of alcoholism as a still-developing plot line, which is mostly ugly, and boring, and redundant as hell. Without knowing the outcome or if the shit's worth it.
can't effin type this morning which is drving me crazy
something bout the day is off-- made hotcocoa for the kid but used nog instead of milk, then added my fav chocolate before i noticed, she had one sip then set down and eventually came back with a book and kicked it over anyway.
another friend who's been an on-and-off addict the whole time i've known him, i think. evolved from weed to eventually heroine, then the shit they prescribe you to get off heroine, then got himself off that as well, only to come to rest with on-going alcoholism himself. and depressed. and stuck.
ah, the places we get ourselves to by the time we've come about fifty years of age, which i guess takes me back to the point of this blog.
another friend back in his homeland trying to figure out what the hell to do next-- he's just divorced and the career aint exactly cracking and shit! where's the blueprint for this life? what to do next?
another (or two) who HAVEN'T yet divorced but maybe should give it some good thought. Things don't seem to be all that great.
some of us get taken on some pretty long no-end dead-ends with the "till death do us part" bit. I get that it's worth sticking through the tough times, committing and hanging in there. I also get that sometimes we make mistakes, and you know-- screw it. Who's really keeping score on our lives besides ourselves, and maybe a mom or dad? But you don't owe it to them, and you certainly don't owe it to whatever puritan weirdo made up some verse along time ago...
one of the challenges/downfalls/benefits of marriage is being privy to what another person is thinking all the time-- or most of it. It's enough work keeping up with my own monkey mind, trying to make sense of my own inclinations, inner voices, thoughts, feelings and truths, without throwing the ongoing soundtrack of someone else's process in there for good measure.
happy rainy day
the reality of alcoholism as a still-developing plot line, which is mostly ugly, and boring, and redundant as hell. Without knowing the outcome or if the shit's worth it.
can't effin type this morning which is drving me crazy
something bout the day is off-- made hotcocoa for the kid but used nog instead of milk, then added my fav chocolate before i noticed, she had one sip then set down and eventually came back with a book and kicked it over anyway.
another friend who's been an on-and-off addict the whole time i've known him, i think. evolved from weed to eventually heroine, then the shit they prescribe you to get off heroine, then got himself off that as well, only to come to rest with on-going alcoholism himself. and depressed. and stuck.
ah, the places we get ourselves to by the time we've come about fifty years of age, which i guess takes me back to the point of this blog.
another friend back in his homeland trying to figure out what the hell to do next-- he's just divorced and the career aint exactly cracking and shit! where's the blueprint for this life? what to do next?
another (or two) who HAVEN'T yet divorced but maybe should give it some good thought. Things don't seem to be all that great.
some of us get taken on some pretty long no-end dead-ends with the "till death do us part" bit. I get that it's worth sticking through the tough times, committing and hanging in there. I also get that sometimes we make mistakes, and you know-- screw it. Who's really keeping score on our lives besides ourselves, and maybe a mom or dad? But you don't owe it to them, and you certainly don't owe it to whatever puritan weirdo made up some verse along time ago...
one of the challenges/downfalls/benefits of marriage is being privy to what another person is thinking all the time-- or most of it. It's enough work keeping up with my own monkey mind, trying to make sense of my own inclinations, inner voices, thoughts, feelings and truths, without throwing the ongoing soundtrack of someone else's process in there for good measure.
happy rainy day
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